This is written for people who have never crocheted in their lives. If you know the difference between crocheting and knitting, this probably isn't for you.
The first thing you want to do is get crochet hook. Hooks come in sizes. It doesn't matter all that much which size you use when you're beginning, but it's best to have a hook just a little thicker than the yarn you're using.
The other thing you need is some yarn. When you're beginning it's easiest to use multi-colored yarn. The different colors help the differnt layers stand out. You might want to use a cheap acrylic yarn, they take the most abuse and won't shrink when you wash them.
The first thing you make probably won't look very nice, don't worry about that. It takes a while to get the hang of it.
One of the reasons your first crocheted item won't turn out is that it's hard to do the exact same stitch 30,000 times, with no stitch too tight or loose. It will come naturally to you, don't try to over think it.

1. Most of the crocheting guides out there tell you start with a slip knot. I prefer to use a square knot. You can use whatever knot you want so long as you have a loop that won't come undone.

2. Put the hook through the loop you just created. It should be able to slide down to the fattest part of your hook. If it can't, tie a knot that can.

3. Now wrap the yarn around by the hooked side of your hook.


The yarn you wrapped around should get caught in the hook and slide through your first loop, creating a second loop.

Wrap yarn around the hook again and pull it through the loop again. Count every loop you make. Keep doing this until you get the width you're looking for.

When you get the width you want, it's time to turn over.

4. See the top two, kinda in a heart-shaped patern? If you do, push your hook through them. If you just can't find them, push your hook through any two, it'll just look a lil ugly at the bottom.

5. Wrap the yarn around the hook again.

6. Pull the yarn you just wrapped around through the two strands you just went through, but not the last loop.

7. Wrap the the yarn around the hook yet again.

8. Then pull the yarn you just wrapped around the hook through the other two loops.
Then you just the hook through the next two heart-shaped strands, wrap yarn around the hook, pull that yarn through the heart-shaped strands, wrap yarn around the hook again and pull that yarn through the two loops. Count how many times you do that, if the numbers change from row to row you're messing up.
It sounds like a lot to do, but when you get in the groove that whole thing will take less than a second.

Keep repeating 4-8 until you reach the end.

9. When you reach the end, wrap yarn around the hook.

10. Then pull it through.
Now you just repeat 4-9 until it's the size you want.
Pretty easy, huh? Steps 1-3 apply for all stitches/crochets. Steps 4-8 are the "single crochet". Steps 9 and 10 are the "chain stitch".
Download an xvid avi of the single crochet in action.
Guides to the other crochets/stitches are coming soon.